Saturday, December 23, 2017

Sorrow and Joy


I have not blogged in over 5 years! (Not that I was very regular before, but wow, over 5 years!) As I briefly prepared this entry to post I came across the place in my blog where I had first shared this quote below. I think it seems quite fitting to share it with this entry as I guess I am learning to carry my sorrows in ways that make me wise….

 

"One of my favorite southern novelists claims that you know you're an adult when you start to realize that some sorrows in life will never go away. You learn to carry them with you in ways that enrich rather than debilitate your life, in ways that make you wise." --Paula Rinehart

 

I have been mulling some thoughts over, and I have a suspicion. I suppose all of us has a handful of people, if we've lived on this planet for more than a minute or two, for whom we found ourselves to be either "too much” or “not enough" for them (or maybe both!).

I've decided that this isn't necessarily good or bad; it just is.

And so, for whatever reasons (and in many cases, some situations just end up looking like miscommunication) we have to move separate directions. These pains are very difficult for me, because while I can move on and release the situation most of the time, the sorrow still remains. The pain still is there, buried, but there. I don't have any great words of wisdom for what to do with that pain. While it is buried, so that I don't go around all my days crying like a blubbering mess, if I let myself think about it  for very long (which I guess I made the mistake of this morning!), the pain is as fresh as when it first arrived-- bubbling just below the surface. This morning, in my reflection, I asked God to simply help me. I've forgiven these that have hurt me deeply in my heart and released them, though I feel the relationships are not mendable.... Again, I don't have any words of wisdom, but I hope that the pain really does lessen in time. Time sure does feel slow sometimes, at least in deep matters of the heart.

 Just thought I'd risk sharing, in case someone else is struggling with unwanted memories at Christmas-time. While it truly is a wonderful time of the year to have great times with friends and family who welcome and accept you into their lives, it's quite possibly the most difficult time of the year when you are an adult, as sorrow seems to be close to us in our most grateful and joyful moments as well.

Joy and Sorrow--Quite the opposites, and yet so much alike at the same time.
Each all consuming; each hard to understand, in some ways.

Best wishes, readers! I sincerely wish joyful moments for you all this Christmas. May all twelve days of Christmas and Epiphany be times of celebrations and joy! (And for those of you just celebrating one day, I hope that you can make that one a great one! J )

For myself, I can say with certainty that peace rules in my heart and my life. Truly, I have full peace in my every single day! I just also recognize that I carry my sorrows (we all do, I think, whether we recognize them or not), and so I am choosing to lay down my sorrows today with my Prince of Peace. Jesus, I am so thankful for you, not just at Christmas, but every day. You have been the reason I’ve made it through this life so far.

Several years ago I had a dream that I was on an elevator with my grandmother Faye. My grandma Faye was a great source of comfort, instruction, love, help, and a spiritual mentor in my young life (she died when I was 18). My daughter carries her middle name (Irene). Anyway, in my dream grandma told me, "Pain is a teacher. Let it teach." I don't know what pain you might be feeling today, but I hope that your pain will be instructive in your own life, as I seek to try to let it be instructive in mine. If we let it teach, I theorize that nothing is wasted-- good experiences and bad, they can all be used to make us more and more into the people we are supposed to be.

Well, here are my random thoughts for this two-days before Christmas morning. Merry Christmas to one and all and Happy New Year!