Thursday, August 27, 2009

Truly Resting in the Lord

"When we cry, 'Why, Lord?' we should ask instead, 'Why not, Lord? Shall I not follow my Master in suffering as in everything else?" -- E. Elliot


Sometimes I think we make life much harder than it needs to be.

I am coming out of a season of deep grief. One than has been compounded and added to as the time has went on... I know this is vague, but right now this is still as detailed as I can be about it all.... (The wounds are still somewhat fresh and yet in all of it, I continue to pray for mercy for others. Go figure. I really didn't expect that.. but I know that love always protects-- I Cor. 13-- and so I will continue to protect... Oh Lord, I do pray you would bless those who have cursed me!)

I have been very contemplative for a while now. But really there are simple truths that have guided my life for quite some time and these simple truths still lead me onward.

As a committed and passionate follower of Jesus Christ I have made it my ambition to lead a quiet life and to follow the Lord wherever he desires for me to go. This hasn't always been easy, or... it's not always been something I have submitted to easily I guess I should say... but I can say one thing truly and sincerely-- living for Jesus is better than anything!

I've seen a lot of inauthentic Christianity in my (relatively) short life mixed in with true chances to see real live authentic Christianity in action (praise the Lord for these times!!!) and the past months have been no exception.... but it has all brought me to this place... this place where I truly know I would rather have Jesus than anything. Makes me think of that wonderful old hymn:

I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold.
I'd rather be his than have riches untold.
I'd rather have Jesus than worldwide fame.
I'd rather be true to his HOLY name....
I'd rather have Jesus than anything, this world affords today!

And so... I find myself ready. I know the Lord has huge plans for our life... and I understand that all of this... even this deep hurt and pain; truly like none I have felt so far in life until this point.... that truly all this is part of what we have needed to go through... to know what it means to truly rest in the Lord in all things... abandonment... lies... slander... Why not, Lord? Shall I not follow my Master in suffering as in everything else? Yes-- I trust you. Yes I trust your plans and your choice for the execution of those plans... YES... I trust you and ask for you to use all these things to bring me closer to you as you teach and guide me on this journey! I choose to live an authentic life before you! I choose to trust and depend upon you!

And so-- we're holding on to the things that are true. We're getting back to remembering that life isn't really so complicated afterall. Living this life will not mean an absence of pain... but that doesn't mean it is hard. Trusting the Lord to use all things for his good and glory truly isn't complicated but we have to stop and rest from our struggling and know that he is in control. His plans for us are good. His way for us is best. We have to stop making things so hard and just rest in him.

And I'm learning... something old yet new again: Resting in him is the best place to be.


My soul finds rest in God alone, my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress; I will never be shaken. (from Psalm 62)

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I guess I've been feeling like music can best explain some of my thoughts for myself lately...

Two Hands
Jars of Clay

I’ve been living out of sanity
I’ve been splitting hairs and blurring lines
I am a house that is divided
In my heart and in my mind

I use one hand to pull closer
The other to push you away
If I had two hands doing the same thing
Lifted high, lifted high

I have a broken disposition
I’m a liar who thirsts for the truth
And while I ache for faith to hold me
I need to feel the scars and see the proof

And if we just keep digging we can reach the foundation
Of our souls
And if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts
We’ll lose control

And it feels like giving in
It feels like starting over
It feels like waking up, and you know it’s coming
It feels like a brand new day
Open your eyes

Friday, August 7, 2009

Broken and hurting

Believing that Jesus will have the last word over all and in all and through all things....

Oh Father, some pains are so huge... I have to believe that you will work this pain for good in my life. I have to believe that you are in control. I have to believe that you are who you say you are. Please use this deep, numbing pain for good in my life. I cling to you.

Glory by Selah

One day eyes that are blind will see you clearly
And one day all who deny will finally believe
One day hearts made of stone will break in pieces
And one day chains once unbroken will fall down at your feet
So we wait for that one day come quickly

We want to see your Glory
Every knee falls down before thee
Every tongue offers you praise
With every hand raised
Singing Glory
To you and unto you only
We'll sing
Glory to Your name

One day voices that lie will all be silent
One day all that's divided will be whole again
One day death will retreat and wave it's white flag
One day love will defeat the strongest enemy
So we wait for that one day come quickly


We know not the day or the hour
Or the moments in between
But we know the end of the story
When we'll see


Saturday, August 1, 2009

August 1st scripture memory verse

Ephesians 4: 1-2 (NASB)
"Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,"