My Soul Finds Rest in God Alone

Priorities...

2011-05-04T23:51:00.000-04:00

So I've been thinking a lot about this lately... Here are my ideas (as I discussed them today with my mentor and good friend! :) on what a godly woman should strive to be:

First and foremost seeking to follow and love God fully and completely. To be a daughter of the King, truly and to let our lives be from the overflow of this vibrant, growing relationship.

Second and in this order, striving with lots of prayer and God's help to be the best wife possible. To love, pray, serve, sacrifice for and encourage and uplift him in such a way that he is compelled to be a more godly, Christ-honoring man.

Third (and NOT before #1 and #2) to seek to lead and teach her children to love the Lord and follow him so they will grow up to be kind, respectful, and God-fearing adults.

ANYTHING after that is icing. Seriously, there is enough "cake" in striving to do those things WELL to last a lifetime.

I guess I'm just so tired of all sorts of people thinking they need to be other people's "Holy Spirit" and tell them what they should be doing because there is an "opportunity to serve". We need to be serving our Lord and the top priorities God has given to us first and ask for the Holy Spirit to guide us into any other opportunities to serve that HE might choose for us to live. But NOT at the expense of these top three priorities!!!! We have to keep in step with the Spirit to know how he is leading us (ref. Galatians 5), but seriously, if we did those first three things well, we could rest knowing HE would say, "Well done!"

Delayed from 2/14... Gratitude list continues! :)

2011-02-19T10:56:00.001-05:00

I could not get into blogger on Monday no matter what I tried and then illness hit my house most of this week, so my list is a bit delayed but here nonetheless! :)

185. Toddler-girl sitting by my side as I read, "reading" her own books :)

186. music from small keyboard- a two-year old musician creating!

187. not getting stuck in the snow! We didn't make it to our destination, but at least we didn't get stuck and were able to return back home.

188. learning to do pushups correctly--even if getting it takes time, trial, error and humbleness...

189. downsizing of all sorts-- thankful I am learning to "let go" of things that are not worth the space to store, pack and move them!!

190. my Valentine- thankful for the chance we have to continue to grow and learn to love one another.

191. caring for my daughter and trying to learn as I go to honestly show my love for Jesus in action in front of her.

192. melting snow and signs of warmth and new life coming soon

193. toddler-girl going right to sleep at naptime

194. reading good books (such as http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Story-Patricia-Pingry/dp/0824955129, and http://www.amazon.com/One-Thousand-Gifts-Fully-Right/dp/0310321913, and http://www.amazon.com/Charlotte-Mason-Companion-Personal-Reflections/dp/1889209023)

195. tea time!- pretend tea tastes so good!!

196. chance to watch a complex movie with my husband. It had been a long time since we had watched something challenging together like that

197. time spent getting to know new friends-- sharing the story of how we met our husbands-- so thankful God wrote my love story with my sweet Valentine!!

A River Runs Through It

2011-02-11T23:44:00.000-05:00

A River Runs Through It: We watched this movie tonight. First time for my husband to see it. I don't even know how many times I've seen it, but it has not been often in recent years.

My dad loved this movie for some reason. It's very introspective in ways and not much on rapid paced action... I don't really know why he liked it so much. He wasn't really a fly fisherman... and while he loved movies of all sorts, I'm not sure why this movie was one of his favorites.

Daddy made me rewind again and again to write down the last part of it. Part of it is still in my memory...

Some of it is something like this: Now nearly all those I loved and did not understand when I was young are gone now, even Jessie... But when I am alone in the half light of the canyon all exsistence seems to fade to a being (?) in my soul and ...memories... and the hope that a fish will rise....

Then there is a part that talks beautifully about the river and the rocks and the words below the rocks... etc.

It ends with a simple "I am haunted by waters."

So, I can't remember a lot of it perfectly, but it really is beautiful poetry/prose. Truly haunting in ways.

I think it is based off a book written by Norman Maclean. I should investigate this sometime. Might be enlightening.

Well, my pillow is calling to me for now.

This is the most random blog post I have written so far, but I know there are some thoughts stirring in me and I should at least begin to tap into them... This "journal" is mostly just for me anyway! :)

My daughter, husband and I danced a little waltz together at the end and while I was still sad and meloncoly thinking about my dad, it was a nice dance. I felt Eucharisteo (sp) in even that. The sadness and the joy all mixed together and I felt thankful and grateful and alive.

It's good to feel alive. Thank you, Lord, for moments to remember and to truly live.

Continuing with my Thousand Gifts

2011-02-07T08:20:00.001-05:00

I started writing the blessings I see each day, the gifts the Lord allows me to see, down in my journal this time and so this first list after a hiatus might be longer than most. I'm excited to get back to seeing the joy in each day/moment. Thank you, Lord for all the gifts you have given and continue to bestow. Those I see and those I miss. Please help the eyes of my heart to see more and to experience more of you!

136. sunshine on snow

137. birds at the feeder-- making marks in the nearby snow, fluttering about excitedly

138. electric staying on through the storm! Praise the Lord!!!

139. a little girl easily entertained by a bag of "new to her" shoes :) Who knew a two year old could find joy so easily? :)

140. a warm home-- respite

141. imperfectly made new curtains from fabric remnants 18" square

142. the chance to make those curtains and learn in the process

143. reading and laughing over Three Little Pigs with my girl

144. New books deliverd by the postman at the door??!! through the snow

145. small steps in gaining more self-control as part of the fruit of the Spirit (less angry outbursts, less times of emotional eating) praise to you, Lord!

146. clothes to fold and put away (means my family is well provided for)

147. carpet to sweep means carpet to bring warmth to our home

148. butterscotch oatmeal goodies

149. a polite "more pwease," Who can resist giving her one more cookie bite :)

150. that my two year old girls is still willing to take her afternoon nap! Praise the Lord!!

151. quietness during naptime

152. joy in the quiet

153. hope

154. remembering that hope does not disappoint...

155. gentle morning kisses from my love on his way to the day

156. estranged uncle-neighbor coming to rescue and teach in a gentle way-- seeing him walk down the snowy road to our drive brough such sadness and joy at the same time. Sad for the loss, many years ago now, of the relationship; joy in the provision for this day in helping us get a car out of the snow/mud! We could not have gotten the car out without his help. So thankful God brought him and he was able to come.

157. eggs sizzling in the skillet- sound and smell wafting in

158. oatmeal falling out of canister to bowl in preperation

159. white snow lying with hope that all things will be new someday

160. furnance kicking on to keep the house warm; glad we have not run out of propane

161. hope flickering ever so softly that all might be as it should be some day.

162. bare tree branches and light reflecting through curved glass

163. the hum of the refrigerator

164. the quiet snores of a small one sleeping

165. the feel of the recently vacuumed carpet on my check

166. the breathing in and out and knowing I am learning and I can grow to be the woman the Lord plans for me to be- this slowing thing is new for me; I am grateful and hopeful; and humbled

167. friends to share a meal and converstaion with; especially grateful for several reasons... Friendship has been hard to find in recent years and this week has been especially long when stuck indoor due to snow!! :D

168. a good samaritan to rescue us from the snowy ditch

169. a comfty bed in which to rest after a long, tiring day

170. toddler-baby wearing striped pajamas and pink tennis shoes pulling musical xylophone down the hallway :) Such a glorious sight! :)

171. squeak of old chair as small one climbs up to see and be near her daddy

172. hours spent slowing and savoring the beautiful chaos of family life

173. quiet bubbling of fish tank in early morning

174. gentle new dusting of snow lying on cedar limbs making the world white and beautiful once more

175. toddler-baby asking to come "up" on my lap

176. seeing her lovingly care for her doll babies

177. toddler-girl singing into oatmeal canister; happy joyful sounds! :)

178. corny jokes from my husband

179. cold back porch floor tile on bare feet

180. snuggling under the covers in the last hazy darkness of nighttime before the day begins

181. sewing maching to help create

182. the chance to change the needle-- yet again-- in the process of the project. learning patience and persistance. enjoying the journey, learning not to race to the destination...

183. joy in taking something "tossed aside" and making something new and useful...

184. Thankfulness that God did just that with my life-- took what was tossed aside and is making me new!!

Finding Joy in each Day

2011-02-06T11:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm coming back to blogging. I really don't know why, but I feel compelled to try to write thoughts to "paper". I have added my real name to the blog... guess I'm moving past fear a little bit! :-) I have also added a photo! Getting more bold in this, ha!

I don't promise to have fully thought out posts, persay... I am a very busy wife and mama... and I am also trying to move past my perfectionistic tendencies. This is a huge step for me, to be willing to just write as thoughts come and not try to make it all look "perfect"...

Anyway, this blog might not be the most "correct" format you will come across on the web, but I do promise to try to write real things with which I am wrestling.... things to share where I've been and what the Lord is teaching me... and some of the struggles I am having along the way. I hope anyone who stops by will be encouraged by the "realness" they will hopefully encounter here.

Blessings to you this day!

With a sincere heart,

Angela

Contemplating

2010-05-19T12:08:00.003-04:00

I've been reading this book Strong Women, Soft Hearts by Paula Rinehart and I came across this from about p. 44 (I think, don't have book in front of me right now... just my notebook)

"One of my favorite southern novelists claims that you know you're an adult when you start to realize that some sorrows in life will never go away. You learn to carry them with you in ways that enrich rather than debilitate your life, in ways that make you wise."

More to come on this, but I thought it was worth mentioning. Contemplation is underway... :)

Reflections on Isaiah 61:3

2010-03-16T23:39:00.003-04:00

Disjointed thoughts... maybe they will help someone out there... maybe they are just for me.... Here goes:

Isaiah 61:3 "and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."

I've been reflecting some on this verse lately... there have been a lot of seasons of grief in my life lately for very different reasons and I've been trying to savor the time (as strange as that might sound at first) because I know that the Lord wants to show me more of himself through these different things. I've been thinking some about the crown of BEAUTY (instead of ashes), oil of GLADNESS (instead of mourning) and garment of PRAISE (instead of a spirt of despair)... The Lord's promises in scripture are true. These are some of the things for which Christ came to earth to provide for us. He wants to provide for all who grieve...

What would it mean to truly see beauty from the ashes?

What would it mean to be glad and not mourn over the losses anymore?

What would it look like to truly praise the Lord in all things instead of being hung up in despair?

I am really posing these questions for myself more than anyone else this evening, but if you are reading this and you have thoughts to share, by all means jump in.

I think there is a time for every purpose under heaven (Eccl. 3) and so I am continuing to walk the long road of grieving various losses until the Lord brings complete restoration/ comfort for the present time... but at the same time seeing bits of the BEAUTY, GLADNESS and PRAISE that can be seen and given to the Lord even through grief still being present.

He is such an incredible God. He provides us with exactly what we need, when we need it.

I am praying that I can be more observant in the things he wants to teach me. I am hoping to learn lessons he wants to teach me the first time around and not have to keep repeating the experiences in some way until I learn the lesson! Oh Lord, I believe you.. I believe your promises and who you are... I believe you! Help my unbelief!

Lent, a season for reflection

2010-03-08T11:13:00.006-05:00

I've been away from blogging for a while, but wanted to jump back in with some thoughts on Multitude Monday. This lent season I have been reflecting and turning to the cross to examine my life in a new light.

It was twenty years ago this lent season that I considered publically professing my faith in Christ. Twenty years?! I feel blessed to have walked with the Lord most of my life, but it gives me great joy to reflect and hope and dream about the next twenty years!

Today, I am thankful for...

121. Being given the gift of creativity because He is our creative (Creator) God!

122. Walks without coats!! :) *Yay for warmer temperatures!*

123. Beauty in simplicity and the everyday.

124. Finding a place to purchase Pearl Barley! (I've been on this quest since we moved to our new location over 2 months ago!)

125. Hope for the future... hope that the Lord will accomplish more than we can ask or imagine!

126. Bright colors!

127. Worship... any time, any place... the ability to worship the Lord God for who he is.

128. Authenticity

129. Heartfelt prayers

130. News that we will be aunt and uncle again!

131. To share in the joy of first-time parents-to-be!

132. Seeing young ones grow up to love the Lord and desire to worship him with their lives.

133. To hear news of a dear friend's engagement!

134. To know that God's purposes will be accomplished and to get the chance to be involved in what he is doing.

And last, but not least on my list today, I am thankful for

135. Ants! I wish they would carry on outside my house, but they are interesting little creatures to watch! :)

Blessings to all on this Monday as we give thanks to the Lord for his many blessings. Praying that this lent season will continue to be a time of reflection, revival and rest in the Lord.

Isaiah 30: 15 (NIV) "This is what the Soverign Lord, The Holy One of Israel say, 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength'....

Thankful thoughts on a cold day

2010-02-08T19:43:00.004-05:00

112. Baby/toddler giggles!

113. The Holy Spirit to lead and guide into all Truth

114. Feathery snow falling and making the brown clean and new

115. Blankets to huddle under when there the furnace isn't working...

116. Funds in reserve to pay for a new furnace... praise the Lord! (Hope it might be installed soon... :)

117. Having a family to cuddle up with on these cold days and nights.

118. Enjoying a good book over the past few weeks and having lots of new/revisited things to think about... (Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore)

119. The chance to apply for a part-time job and to leave the decision in God's hands... I will be okay with either option (getting the job or not getting the job!)

120. God's grace for ME... who is not always full of his grace... the chance to be filled by his Spirit and for his mercy to be new every morning. Lord, thank you for your faithfulness to me!

The next hundred... Multitude Monday

2010-02-01T22:53:00.004-05:00

101. God's grace! I never lack to be amazed that he extends it to me.

102. The Bible-- God's words to us. How incredible is that?!

103. Heartfelt prayers poured out at his feet

104. Another opportunity to trust Him more

105. Knowing that He is big enough to carry all my fears and my cares

106. Watching Jeopardy at my mom's house and feeling like my dad is just going to be back home soon... He's just been at work, right? And he's just coming home like he always used to after a long day of work... Even though it was bittersweet to feel like he would just be walking in the door any minute (he always got home during Jeopardy when I was a kid!), I was still glad to be able to remember. And though this time of grieving does not seem to get easier... if anything it gets harder... I am so glad for the life we got to spend together. I was blessed with a wonderful daddy!

And some of the more "tangible/practical"...

107. Snow boots to walk in these 5.5 inches we got recently! :)

108. NOT getting stuck in the ditch or spinning off the road on a patch of black ice!

109. Windows getting new trim inside!! :) Several were just finished today!

110. Fitting back into my "pre-pregnancy jeans"... at least one pair of them.... Hoping to continue gaining better health! (It's about time, lol! The baby is 15 months old now!!!)

111. Thankful that even random "thankful posts" can be entered into this community of acceptance.

My heart is full of thanks tonight. Blessings to all in the gratitude community! Angela

Thankful when times are Gray... Multitude Monday

2010-01-25T09:23:00.003-05:00

94. Extra snuggles from a cuddly little one :-)

95. My husband keeping watch over said little one Saturday afternoon and suggesting I take a nap... apparently a much needed 3 hour nap!

96. Friday night homemade pizza and movie nights (Crust recipe will be coming soon... I didn't realize I do not have it really "written down" yet!)

97. The way the trees look without their leaves right now... beautiful creations!

98. The slate blue sky contrasting against the field grasses and rolling hills background.

99. A soft dusting of snow!

100. Knowing that even though I have this small sickness (cold has turned to sinus infection, I think...), that this too will pass.. Reminding myself of the many truly hurting people around the world both physically and emotionally... O Lord, make me mindful of those hurting in Haiti and around the world. Please, help remind me not to waste, but to use this "slowing time" in our house to pray for for those who are really hurting!

As a friend e-mailed to me this weekend, "things feel kind of gray here". I feel that too... in my spirit and in my physical feelings right now. Thank you, Lord, that you are present even when times are gray and it seems like the sun is absent. Please help us focus our eyes on the SON and remember that you are doing a work, even when our present seems to disguise that work... Help me to trust you more!

Courage

2010-01-20T11:33:00.001-05:00

"Courage is not limited to the battlefield or the Indianapolis 500 or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are the inner tests, like remaining faithful when nobody's looking, like enduring pain when the room is empty, like standing alone when you're misunderstood."

— Charles Swindoll

I stumbled upon this Chuck Swindoll quote and found it inspiring and thought provoking... In what ways have you shown courage lately?

Multitude Monday!

2010-01-18T09:23:00.004-05:00

81. New windows are installed in our house!

82. Enjoying my new bible study (the second time around... has it really already been 10 years?!) (Breaking Free by Beth Moore)

83. Meeting a gal at bible study who has never done a study before! So excited to get to know her and encourage her in her pursuit of Jesus.

84. Sweet rosy baby cheeks :)

85. "City-boy" husband delighting in living in the country... :) "Look! There's an owl!" "Wow, we can see the stars from our window out here!" etc... lots of fun to see the place I grew up near through his eyes of delight.

86. Fog rolling across the fields

87. Pumpkins to make curry pumpkin soup sometime this week...

88. Picking up sticks in our yard

89. Setting up a compost place

90. Reading about creativity!

91. Using my handmade dishrag for the first time. Handmade by me!

92. The joys of winter.. a chance to renew, make plans for the garden, cuddle up with those I hold dear!

93. Resting in the peace that He is my JOY!

2010-01-16T23:15:00.002-05:00

New verse to memorize for end of Jan, beginning of February 2010

Isaiah 61:1-4 (NIV)

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.

Celebrating a return to Multitude Monday!

2010-01-11T10:34:00.004-05:00

68. HOPE! (and hope does not disappoint us!!)

69. Thankful for "returning" to write down the things I am thankful for!

70. A house to work into making a home... the smallness will just help us be all the more cozy. Oh Lord, I pray you would fill this space with yourself... fill this home with hospitality, kindness, patience, love... fill us up with yourself!

71. My husband enjoying his new job! Also, for the job itself... praise be to the Father!

72. For the future friends the Lord will provide for me here in this new place.

73. For encouragement from friends new and old to trust in Him with all my heart.

74. The beauty of the snow as it sparkles.

75. Washing machine and dryers that work and make the Monday tasks easier...

76. Smiles from my not so little baby... :) So glad she has been entrusted to us!

77. Getting the car back up the hill!

78. Friends celebrating TWENTY years of marriage this month! Praise to the Father!

79. Mama giving me hope through some of her own. Even through her grief, she is reaching out to trust in Him... praise you Jesus!

80. The tea kettle boiling water... and the cup of tea that awaits me soon! :)

First verse to work on memorizing this year- 2010!

2010-01-03T23:00:00.001-05:00

By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this,
but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward- to Jesus.

I'm off and running, and I am not turning back.

Phillipians 3:13 in the Message version

Verse for the first part of November

2009-11-02T08:37:00.002-05:00

Proverbs 12:25

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.

Feeling numb... praising God

2009-10-18T08:36:00.002-04:00

Just over a week ago (10/10/09 at 3:40 p.m.) my Daddy went to be with Jesus.

I honestly admit, that I have been a bit envious of him. Yes, overwhelmingly I miss him... and I know that I'm still just very numb and that it has not all sunk in yet... But my heart aches for heaven.

I feel numb. I feel weary. I feel a bit of emptiness and the sense that life will never quite be the same again, but still I feel joy and hope in the midst of this sadness. I know I will see my daddy again.

Thank you, Lord, for sending Jesus to this earth... For letting him live the perfect life he did; die far too soon and in such a cruel manner... but thank you most of all that he rose from the death and prepared the way for us to have life eternal! May I never take for granted the free gift you have given to me. May I never hold so closely to this life and my "comforts" that my heart stops aching for heaven.

Thank you for giving me the dad you did on this earth to teach me how to live... and... how to die as well.

Gratefully your child, I am seeking to find my rest in you. I lift up my eyes to you...

1000 Blessings Post 3

2009-09-22T00:06:00.004-04:00

54. Rain falling softly hitting tree leaves gently...

55. Making it through more tests with my daddy. So glad to spend this time with him.

56. Compassionate nurses.

57. Friends who drive the miles to deliver a meal, or clean the house, or do some laundry, or do an errand, or mow the lawn almost 500 miles away or.... so many kind ones to be thankful for... so thoughtful, so loving... so much of Christ's agape in action.

58. The chance to trust God for my daily manna... every moment of every day. Finding the reality that I cannot do any of this on my own strength; and finding that to be a relief-- it's not about me!

60. Singing hymns as I drive daddy home from the hospital

61. Seeing many extended family wounds healing before my eyes-- wow God, you are so amazing!

62. 62- years my daddy has been on this earth!

63. The ability to feel... to cry... to grieve... to smile.. to laugh... to hold on to hope!

64. Driving with the clouds above, but totally protected from the storm.

65. Knowing he covers us not just in this physical storm, but in this bigger storm of our lives.

66. Filled with gratitude for his everlasting arms.

67. Knowing so deep down that through it all... he has and he will continue to provide.

Lord, thank you for being such an excellent provider. Please help us cling to you with all that we are.

59. Mama working on walking again! Praises to the Lord for her healing in her bones.

1000 Blessings Post 2

2009-09-14T23:33:00.002-04:00

38. Caring for them all

39. Deep sighs; releasing the burdens

40. Walking with my daddy, age 62... hand in hand to his first appointment with the oncologist

41. Hearing the news... 6-9 months at most... but with His support... holding on.... underneath are the everlasting arms.

42. Heartfelt prayers with the people that mean the most to me in all the world... daddy, mother, my dear husband... my baby sleeping nearby

43. Flowers: flocks, cock's comb, aster, petunia... the beauty of Indian summer

44. Sunrises shared

45. My rock steady solid husband.

46. Friends and family who demonstrate His love in action. True agape!

47. Picking them up to take them all home- two wheelchairs, one stroller, one faithfully solid husband.

48. Enjoying the sounds of the a summer evening in the country... the music makers of the night... buzzing bugs, chirping crickets...

49. Hearing his snore; knowing he's resting from a long day... bittersweet to hear that snore... thankful to get to hear it now.

50. Holding her hand... my mama...knowing she's grasping to wrap her brain around it all... knowing she doesn't know how to say goodbye... being able to point her to HIM who is I AM.

51. Feeling his strength rise within me... strength I most definitely do not have on my own. Knowing he's love is true... his love never fails... his love can be shown through me... Please Lord, may it be so!

52. Blessings in being without work?? We can be here.... Thank you God for providing in the unexpecting blessings!

53. Trusting God for the manna for today.

Father, please give me this day my daily bread.

Beginning... Today is Multitude Monday

2009-09-07T20:21:00.006-04:00

1000 gifts Post number 1

1. I am overwhelmed by God's kindness in timing-- He has been so faithful over this last year and I have never felt far from his gentle hands-- even now

2. Sweet baby snuggles

3. My husband's tenderness

4. Ceiling fans

5. Quiet evenings before sunset

6. Cool breezes

7. Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown Pictures by Clement Hurd

8. The voice of the young mouse

9. Neighbors to care for my parents like M

10. Friends like L who call just to see how we're doing...

11. Phone calls across the miles

12. My white adirondack chair

13. Crazy Love by Francis Chan

14. Quiet moments of reflecting on his goodness

15. A kind word

16. Friends coming to the front steps to pray with us-- so unexpected... I didn't know they loved us like that-- so humbling... incredible to see the body of Christ in action

17. sweet baby smiles

18. sweet daddy and baby daughter giggles... playing on the floor as I prepare the meal nearby

19. reading incredible books with my husband aloud

20. challengingly good conversations in our Sunday School class

21. Breathing a deep sigh of relief-- my life is not about me!!!! Hallelujah!

22. Music! Song in my head right now: It's all about you, Jesus... and all this is for you... for your glory and your name... it's not about me... as if you should do things my way... you are my desire and I surrender... to your ways!!

23. Leisurely walks

24. Exploring the uncharted path...

25. Challenging interval walks on crisp mornings

26. Releasing burdens I was never meant to carry

27. A shy wave from an older couple across the way

28. Greetings from a neighbor who doesn't talk much

29. The gentle chirp of the birds in the trees

30. Morning glories doing what they do best

31. Bright pink petunias

32. sweet little baby noises

33. Siblings playing on a bike

34. Beginning of Autumn!!!

35. The rustle of the leaves in the gentle breeze

36. The first smells from my autumn candles

37. Stretching my mind... learning how to put this button on here!! :) (Thank you to my husband for his help!!!)

Creating something beautiful...

2009-09-05T22:09:00.003-04:00

Deep within I feel the stirrings.. all around I feel the battle raging...

But more than all of this I sense a calling... a calling to something deeper, purer, truer... nobler... (Phillipians 4:8 comes to mind as I think on these things... things that are excellent. praiseworthy... the whole bit)

To feel deeply

To live purposefully

To love unconditionally

To hope fervently

To cling desperately to Him who sustains me

Lord I want more of you and I feel so humbled that you would be at work in and around me. I pray you would find me your humble servant and that I can agree with Mary... in Luke 1:38.

I am the Lord's servant. May it be as you say.

Show me your glory

2009-09-02T09:42:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Es-OtQizp6k

Third Day

Lyrics from this Show Me Your Glory:

I caught a glimpse of Your splendor
In the corner of my eye
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen
And it was like a flash of lightning
Reflected off the sky
And I know I'll never be the same

Show me Your glory
Send down Your presence
I want to see Your face
Show me Your glory
Majesty shines about You
I can't go on without You, Lord

When I climb down the mountain
And get back to my life
I won't settle for ordinary things
I'm gonna follow You forever
And for all of my days
I won't rest 'til I see You again

Show me Your glory
Show me Your glory
I can't live without You

Oh Lord, I don't want to settle for ordinary things ever again. I want to follow you with all that I have and all that I am. Please make my life something beautiful that reflects you. Help people to see less of me and more of you. In Jesus name I pray it be so. Angela

Life Theme

2009-09-01T10:31:00.002-04:00

My scripture memory verse for September 1st... I basically know this verse already but I think it would be really good to continue to reflect upon it, so here we go:

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."
Psalm 62:1-2

Truly Resting in the Lord

2009-08-27T22:53:00.002-04:00

"When we cry, 'Why, Lord?' we should ask instead, 'Why not, Lord? Shall I not follow my Master in suffering as in everything else?" -- E. Elliot

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Sometimes I think we make life much harder than it needs to be.

I am coming out of a season of deep grief. One than has been compounded and added to as the time has went on... I know this is vague, but right now this is still as detailed as I can be about it all.... (The wounds are still somewhat fresh and yet in all of it, I continue to pray for mercy for others. Go figure. I really didn't expect that.. but I know that love always protects-- I Cor. 13-- and so I will continue to protect... Oh Lord, I do pray you would bless those who have cursed me!)

I have been very contemplative for a while now. But really there are simple truths that have guided my life for quite some time and these simple truths still lead me onward.

As a committed and passionate follower of Jesus Christ I have made it my ambition to lead a quiet life and to follow the Lord wherever he desires for me to go. This hasn't always been easy, or... it's not always been something I have submitted to easily I guess I should say... but I can say one thing truly and sincerely-- living for Jesus is better than anything!

I've seen a lot of inauthentic Christianity in my (relatively) short life mixed in with true chances to see real live authentic Christianity in action (praise the Lord for these times!!!) and the past months have been no exception.... but it has all brought me to this place... this place where I truly know I would rather have Jesus than anything. Makes me think of that wonderful old hymn:

I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold.

I'd rather be his than have riches untold.

I'd rather have Jesus than worldwide fame.

I'd rather be true to his HOLY name....

I'd rather have Jesus than anything, this world affords today!

And so... I find myself ready. I know the Lord has huge plans for our life... and I understand that all of this... even this deep hurt and pain; truly like none I have felt so far in life until this point.... that truly all this is part of what we have needed to go through... to know what it means to truly rest in the Lord in all things... abandonment... lies... slander... Why not, Lord? Shall I not follow my Master in suffering as in everything else? Yes-- I trust you. Yes I trust your plans and your choice for the execution of those plans... YES... I trust you and ask for you to use all these things to bring me closer to you as you teach and guide me on this journey! I choose to live an authentic life before you! I choose to trust and depend upon you!

And so-- we're holding on to the things that are true. We're getting back to remembering that life isn't really so complicated afterall. Living this life will not mean an absence of pain... but that doesn't mean it is hard. Trusting the Lord to use all things for his good and glory truly isn't complicated but we have to stop and rest from our struggling and know that he is in control. His plans for us are good. His way for us is best. We have to stop making things so hard and just rest in him.

And I'm learning... something old yet new again: Resting in him is the best place to be.

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My soul finds rest in God alone, my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress; I will never be shaken. (from Psalm 62)

2009-08-11T16:38:00.002-04:00

I guess I've been feeling like music can best explain some of my thoughts for myself lately...

Two Hands
Jars of Clay

I’ve been living out of sanity
I’ve been splitting hairs and blurring lines
I am a house that is divided
In my heart and in my mind

I use one hand to pull closer
The other to push you away
If I had two hands doing the same thing
Lifted high, lifted high

I have a broken disposition
I’m a liar who thirsts for the truth
And while I ache for faith to hold me
I need to feel the scars and see the proof

And if we just keep digging we can reach the foundation
Of our souls
And if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts
We’ll lose control

And it feels like giving in
It feels like starting over
It feels like waking up, and you know it’s coming
It feels like a brand new day
Open your eyes

Broken and hurting

2009-08-07T09:44:00.005-04:00

Believing that Jesus will have the last word over all and in all and through all things....

Oh Father, some pains are so huge... I have to believe that you will work this pain for good in my life. I have to believe that you are in control. I have to believe that you are who you say you are. Please use this deep, numbing pain for good in my life. I cling to you.

Glory by Selah

One day eyes that are blind will see you clearly
And one day all who deny will finally believe
One day hearts made of stone will break in pieces
And one day chains once unbroken will fall down at your feet
So we wait for that one day come quickly

Chorus
We want to see your Glory
Every knee falls down before thee
Every tongue offers you praise
With every hand raised
Singing Glory
To you and unto you only
We'll sing
Glory to Your name

One day voices that lie will all be silent
One day all that's divided will be whole again
One day death will retreat and wave it's white flag
One day love will defeat the strongest enemy
So we wait for that one day come quickly

Chorus

We know not the day or the hour
Or the moments in between
But we know the end of the story
When we'll see

Chorus

August 1st scripture memory verse

2009-08-01T09:25:00.000-04:00

Ephesians 4: 1-2 (NASB)
"Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,"

Just watch and see... It will not be "Unredeemed"

2009-07-25T11:03:00.003-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfGbcjCVDOs

This song from Selah... soon to be out officially this coming August 2009... means so much to me!

I don't know that I could say it any better... just so true and good!

Times of Refreshing...

2009-04-25T20:04:00.003-04:00

The spring weather has been soo refreshing the last several days and today was just BEAUTIFUL! We walked over 10,000 steps this morning on our walk! I think this was somewhere in the vicinity of over 3 miles roundtrip! I was so shocked/thrilled! We've been trying to be faithful to walk each morning and we have just completed today.... six days in a row! We had been fitting more walks in here and there before this, but I am so glad we have started making these habits daily! Since I have had the goal of memorizing two scriptures per month (starting in January of this year) that I really NEED (not just something random... but something the Lord has revealed that I really really NEED), I have been using part of this walking time to review my spiral 3X5 notebook cards and it's been so much fun!

These past weeks have been really difficult.... I'm not even sure if I am ready to actually put onto paper what some of it has felt like, because I'm not even sure I can... it's been hard to process it alone, much less with my very godly and supportive husband, so I'm not even sure how I can do this yet in such a public forum... Except, of course it seems this is something I need... to share with whoever might benefit... In time, I think... in time...

There is just so much grief and loss to go through... and I think we have to be honest and just continue to go through it. Being honest with the Lord that THIS is where we are... and not trying to think we have anything figured out! Because we certainly don't... We can only depend on Him for strength to press forward in the midst of our pain... and share our hearts as openly as possible with one another and Him.

Lord, I am so greatful that you chose me to be yours! Long before I was born and long before I knew how desperately I needed you... you chose me! Thank you Jesus, for the indescribable joy in the midst of sorrow and great pain. I am so glad that you are my strong tower and fortress. My soul does find rest in you!

Psalm 18:30-33 As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God, except the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. (From memory... so I hope this was mostly correct!!) NIV ** I had to check... just to be sure and I only had to change one word... I had put "makes my way straight" and it was "makes my way perfect".... )

I pray for anyone who reads this that you might find rest in God. Times of refreshing can be found in Him... as I seek Him, even in the midst of great sorrow, I can truly say that I find rest in Him.

Reflections between Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday

2009-04-11T05:50:00.001-04:00

Psalm 18:3 I call the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies... Ps. 18:19b He...rescued me because he delighted in me.

Isaiah 55:8-9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways highter than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

1 John 4:4 Greater is He who is within me than he who is in the world

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. (NKJV)

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing

Habakkuk 3:19 Amplified version " The Lord God is my strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army. He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering or responsibility]! For the Chief Musician, with my stringed instruments"

This may seem somewhat all "unrelated"... however, the reality that we have an enemy and that he is out for our isolation and destruction is true. Those of us who belong to Christ cannot be snatched away, but the enemy will do his best to crush/distract/derail... whatever method will work best. He has NO heart and will not hesitate to hit us again when we are down and so all the more we need to be on our guard and alert.

The best defense is a good offense. When we know the things that are TRUE.... when we take God AT HIS WORD and build our life on solid ground (HIM), we can withstand whatever evil might come or landslide toward us. God is greater than the evil that is in the world. HE HAS OVERCOME and this weekend is all about that. If Jesus had not died, we would still be dead in our sin and the enemy would not be defeated... but Satan IS already defeated. His time is short.

OH JESUS, thank you and praise you that you sacrificed your life by death on a cross that we might live. Thank you that we can live in the abundance of life now and later. Thank you for coming to set us free from the power of sin and death. Thank you for drawing us to relationship with you. We can never repay the debt we owe and so we offer our lives up that you might live your full life through us. Please be glorified in me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Soul Finds Rest in God Alone

2009-04-09T07:47:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure where this blog will go or where it will lead, but I the one thing I know today is this: My soul finds rest in God alone, my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress- I will never be shaken. (From Psalm 62)

I think I need this blog for the outlet to write... yet right now I am too numb to even put down "sensible" words. So I will just go with this.... My soul does find rest in God... and in him alone... He IS my HOPE. He is my ROCK. He is my SALVATION. He IS my FORTRESS. Dear Jesus, I pray that I will never be shaken. I pray that I will cling to you and to your word. I love you with everything that I am. Take my life and let it be totally consecrated for THEE. Take my moments and my days, truly let them flow with ceaseless praise. May I delight in you no matter what goes on around me, may I take delight in you my King.